My Agony as the Agony Uncle
by LostInspiration312
Summary: So apparently I "need" to socialize more. And to do so my principal forced me to join the school newspaper. Although I was only filing in until a certain Hinata comes back, knowing my luck that won't happen. Even worse: I have to work with her. SasuHina
1. Welcome to the paper

**My Agony as the Agony Uncle**

* * *

There was a tile missing from the ceiling.

There were exactly 1758 tiles on that ceiling yesterday, and today there were only 1757.

How annoying.

It left an ugly gray square that stared at me. It was provoking me. Urging me to punch a whole through it and let other tiles fall off to ease its misery. I'd gladly do it, if I wasn't already in trouble.

"Sasuke," a voice said, breaking me out of my dense thoughts. I lazily lowered my gaze and settled on the smiling secretary across from me.

"Ms. Tsunade is waiting for you." Shizune finished.

"Hmph." I replied. I then grabbed my bag and dragged myself to the principal's office.

As you might have concluded, I _have_ been here quite often to be able to tell you how many tiles covered the waiting room's ceiling. Even if I was no longer the "problem child" I used to be. Fortunately, I've gotten passed that stage in my life. And it's not like I was a bad student or anything. I didn't have bad grades. Hell, I _excelled_ at studies. Besides, any idiot can pass high school. My only problem now was my temper and character. Which is quite funny since Hashirama High School is known for its encouragement of freedom of speech and individuality. So you'd think I'd get less in trouble…

"Why hello Mr. Uchiha." Tsunade greeted me. She smiled sweetly and I almost scoffed at her hypocrisy.

"What did I do now?" I asked as I seated myself into the chair in front of her desk.

"Who said you did anything?" she replied, her smile turning into a smirk. I stared at her for a moment. She was playing coy with me.

"Naruto did it."

"Relax Uchiha." She chuckled as she took a file in her hands. I read the tag: Student No: 012606. Uchiha, Sasuke. Oh hell…

"It's your last year here isn't it?" she started.

"Yes."

"So that means college applications are coming up." She casually said as she shuffled through the many papers that made my file. How thick was it anyway?

"I know." I answered.

"You better start thinking about what program to go into."

"I know."

"It may seem like a long time, but the admissions date will arrive sooner than you think."

"I know."

"They usually like students with extracurricular activities." She replied, her tone turning sour.

"I know."

"If you _know_ then why didn't you sign up for any!?" she snapped as she slammed my file shut on her desk. I tried to force back a smirk. She was so easy to irritate.

I shrugged and leaned back on the chair. "None of them interested me."

"So I've heard." She mumbled as she reopened my file and took out my schedule. "Yamato said he's talked to you many times about this."

I sighed impatiently. "I don't need counseling anymore."

"Nonsense! Everyone needs help once in a while."

"I don't."

"Just so you know he's not the only one who thinks so." She stated as she crossed her arms on her desk. "Kakashi thinks your chances of acceptance will only rise if you join a club."

"He already told me that." I snapped. It's hard enough to face my teachers at _school_. Imagine _living _with one. Kakashi Hatake, nonetheless.

"If this is the only reason you wanted to talk to me, I'm leaving." I said as I stood up from my seat.

"Sit down Uchiha." Tsunade sternly said. I sighed and complied with her demand.

"I don't think you should join a club _just_ for college." She explained as she took a sip from her mug. "Yes, in the long run it will help you. But by joining clubs, it will make you socialize more. God knows you need it."

I stared blankly at her.

Me socialize? I do socialize! What does she think I do with Naruto? Before you start fantasizing, we're not in some kind of secret relationship. We don't spend endless hours having rough sex in the library or behind the bleachers. And we _never _talk dirty with one another. We simple _talk_. Or argue, depending on the day. Doesn't that mean anything? I should get a frickin' medal for being able to put up with that idiot!

"I socialize." I replied. She snorted.

"Eating lunch on an occupied table doesn't count."

"I'm a listener."

"Then listen here kid," she spat. "You join a club or I'll give you a month's detention."

"You can't do that!" I bellowed.

"Two."

"There's no way in _hell_ I'm joining a stupid club!" I yelled.

"Three."

"I'm not joining!" I said as I stood up from my seat once again, knocking it down in the process.

"Four."

"I don't care." I muttered. Four months in detention would be the same as joining a club: A waste of time.

"Fine. Until you graduate."

I stared incredulously at her. She smiled. That bi-

"I already have one for you." she beamed as she started writing something on a piece of paper. I thought _I_ had to choose!

"I've heard you have many talents but this one will do." She was completely ignoring my fury. "Unfortunately, your stay might only be temporarily seeing as you're just going to be a replacement. But we'll see what will happen then."

"Which club is it?"

"You're good in English are you not?" she asked. Stop ignoring what I say!

"Yes." I'm the best; you'd know that if your mug wasn't filled with sake.

"You do well in written productions?"

"No." I replied sarcastically. I earned more points by rolling my eyes.

"Good, then you'll be joining the school newspaper!"

"The school newspaper!?" I asked.

"What's wrong with the school newspaper?" she inquired.

What _was _wrong with it? Uh…

"No one reads it!" I lied.

"You're at an advantage then. Since like you said," she pushed the note forward.

"You suck at writing."

* * *

I looked at the piece of paper Tsunade gave me and back at the numbers above the door.

Room 7810.

The school newspaper's office.

I'm salivating from excitement.

I glared at the door and thought about what I was doing. Or what I was planning on _not_ doing. I didn't need to join a club since I would get in any college I wanted to. They'd kill to have me. Moreover, what was I going to write about anyway? I don't write news articles. I don't want to be the screw up that does photocopies. I don't want to be the pain that interviews people. I don't have a penchant for taking pictures. I don't draw. I don't even want to be a journalist!

So what am I _doing_ here?

"Trying to burn a hole through the door?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked towards the source of the noise. Oh great.

"Inuzuka?"

"What are you doing here?" he asked, stealing the words from my mouth. He waited for my reply and took a bite out of his pear.

"I'm…" I started. "It's none of your business."

"Oh I get it," he mockingly said. "You just get a kick out of glaring down doors right?"

"Get lost." I snarled.

"Sorry pal," he answered as he slapped my back. "I can't. I'm part of the little group working in there."

"You're in the newspaper?" I asked. Crap. Just what I needed, this annoying twit.

"Yeah, Health." He shrugged. "I would've preferred Sports but ah well. See you."

I didn't answer and simply watched him disappear behind the door. As he did so I couldn't help but recognize two familiar voices obviously bickering over something before he closed it.

My eyes widened. Suddenly it all made sense…

"Crap!" I cursed as I pulled on my hair. "I knew it! I knew it!" I kicked the closest locker and didn't bother to wince in pain.

"_You need anger management."_ Kakashi's voice resonated in my head. "Fuck you!"

I just _knew_ there was a reason I was placed in the school newspaper over _all _the other clubs in school! I don't know how I could've forgotten this little piece of information. Sakura and Ino are part of it! ARGH! I'm sure being the well respected students they are, they easily manipulated Tsunade into getting me in.

I inhaled and leaned against the lockers. I then closed my eyes as I exhaled. I was so glad school was over for the day and no one was roaming the halls. The last thing I needed now was someone asking me if I was alright. Did there always have to be something wrong with me? Couldn't I just be upset and be _okay _withit?

"What are you doing Uchiha? If you're that tired why don't you just go home?"

I opened my eyes and saw a pair of black shoes. I raised them and low and behold, I was facing Shikamaru Nara.

"I can't go home." I sighed. I looked down at the note Tsunade gave me. "You're in the newspaper?"

"Yeah..." He replied suspiciously.

"Then here." I said as I shoved the note at his face. Tsunade told me to give it to the editor. As if I knew who he was.

"What's this?" Shikamaru asked as he took it from me. "From Tsunade?"

I nodded. He read the note and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "So you're our replacement?"

I shrugged. I still wouldn't admit I'd be joining. But knowing Shikamru would be here was slightly relieving. He was one of the few people who didn't really annoy me.

"Follow me." He said as he turned his back and opened the door to the newsroom. I followed him silently. This was it.

I can't believe I'm doing this…

* * *

As I entered the area I looked around and noticed it wasn't very different from every other class room in the school. The only significant difference was it was a bit roomier, with large windows that overlooked the school's entrance. Individual desks were scarce and were pushed far into the end where computers were placed upon them. Long tables were pilled with papers, sketches, old printings and even the occasional gum wrapper. The two blackboards were also covered in news clippings and various dates and plans. And amusingly, near the windows were small multicolored bean bags encircling a small round table.

Even if the room didn't bother me, one glance at the people present almost made me gag. I knew all them. On one of the computers was Ino Yamanaka, feverishly typing away on her keyboard. Next to her was this new guy named Sai. At one of the tables Chouji Akimichi and Kiba were chatting away as they ate chips. Oddly enough, Shino was seated on one of the bean bags and looking into a camera. Finally I saw Sakura seated on the front desk and reading some papers.

I sighed in relief on how busy everyone was, causing them to be unaware of my presence. I liked it that way.

"Okay, listen up." Shikamaru loudly said, catching the attention of everyone in the room. Damn it.

"Staff, Uchiha Sasuke." Shikamaru drawled as he gestured lazily towards me. "Uchiha Sasuke, Staff."

Confused murmurs echoed across the room and frankly I couldn't blame them. "Shikamaru," Sakura said above the chatter. "What's this all about?"

So I was wrong about her asking Tsunade…

"He'll be Hinata's replacement for the time being."

"WHAT!?" was the word screeched in unison. I couldn't agree more.

"He can't fill in for her!" Somebody yelled. I looked over and saw Kiba wildly shaking his head. Stupid ass.

Shikamaru sighed. "We have no choice. Tsunade's orders. We'll just have to settle for him until Hinata recovers."

Settle? What the hell does he mean by _settle_? I could do whatever Hinata was doing and even teach her some!

"Shikamaru I know we need help but…" Ino started. I looked at her and dared her to continue. She averted my eyes and started laughing. The others stared at each other and quietly sniggered amongst themselves, except Sai who continued staring at the computer screen. What the hell was so funny?

"Look, this is only temporary." Shikamaru said trying to calm them down. "He'll only be here until Hinata returns."

"Why don't we just continue what we were doing and not publish the column for the time being?" Sakura hesitated. "No offence…" she muttered sheepishly at me.

"And tell the readers what?" Choji asked as he munched on his chips. "We already received complaints! Hinata's column is a favorite!"

"The pile is only getting larger Sakura. Ignoring it will only give more work to whoever will take on the job." Shino calmly stated.

"They're right." Shikamaru told her. "Everyone here already have their assigned projects. Having Sasuke here will lighten up the load."

"I don't think it'll make a difference." Kiba scoffed.

I moved forward only to be held back by Shikamaru. That guy's getting on my nerves!

"See?" he taunted as he sat back down. I clenched my fists and breathed in deeply.

"Sasuke please, not now." I heard Sakura hiss.

"How troublesome." Shikmaru sighed.

"Personally, I don't care if you don't agree with _this_." He said to the group as he tilted his head to my side. Oh how nice Shikamaru, referring to me as though I were a mere object… I'm touched.

"If you have any problems take it up with Mrs. Sarutobi or Tsunade. Sai come see me." Shikamaru said with a tone of finality. He then started walking towards one of the desks at the back of the room. No matter how embarrassing it may sound, I didn't want him to leave. Not because I was nervous or anything. It's just without his arm blocking me who knows what I'd do to these losers.

As though he read my thoughts he stopped walking and turned towards Sakura, a smirk on his face. "Teach him the ropes around here. And tell him what his job will be."

He then fed me to the sharks.

Sakura slowly approached me and all too soon Ino did as well. I felt trapped. They looked at each other before staring back at me with a mischievous glint in their eyes.

I didn't like this at all.

* * *

"So Shikamaru's the Editor in Chief?" I asked as I shoved Ino's hands off my shoulders. Her massage did feel good though…

"Uh huh." Sakura replied as she organized piles of letters on the table I was occupying. "It might seem like a big deal but basically what he does is sleep until it's due date."

"I heard that!" Shikamaru said from across the room amidst everyone's chuckles. Sakura slowly shook her head and giggled. "And as you might have heard I'm Managing Editor."

"Basically she's a wannabe Editor in Chief." Ino said as she sat on my table and crossed her legs. Get off…

"Shut up!" Sakura snapped. "You're just a staff writer!"

"One of the best, thank you very much!" she replied. She took one of the letters on the pile and opened it. I wonder what are in them?

"As I was saying, before _Pig_ here interrupted me," Sakura said before glancing at Ino who stuck her tongue out at her. "There's the advisor, there's the editor in chief, the managing editor and the staff writers."

I nodded in understanding. "I'm a staff writer."

"Yes you are." She replied enthusiastically as she piled more letters. "You basically write articles on any given subject, but to make it easier we preferred to designate specific categories to every member of the staff. But once in a while everyone does a bit of everything."

"Hmph." I replied as I watched her continue to stack them. Geeze that's a lot of letters.

"Kiba over there does health and fitness." Ino said as she placed the letter back on its pile and took another one. "I sometimes fill in with Beauty and Entertainemet. But what I mostly do is interviews. Research, that sort of thing."

"Choji is in charge of Sports." Sakura continued as she finally sat down next to me. "Sai draws the comics. And he does the layout."

"And Bug-Boy takes the pictures." Ino giggled. I looked over at Shino and saw him starring at us. I sighed. If there was something Ino wasn't, it's discreet. They continued explaining other things but my mind tuned them out.

It's rather odd for me to sit here quietly and listen to them talk but in a way I've gotten used to it. They could be the most annoying girls ever but what separated them from the bimbos that latched onto me was they still cared for what was _inside _their heads instead of _on _it. I'd never tell them but I liked that in a girl. Speaking of girls, what happened to Hinata? This is all her fault by the way. If she had been here I wouldn't be.

Suddenly I noticed how quiet it was and looked around. Sakura was still at my side and staring at me with a slight frown. Ino continued reading the many letters.

"Did you even listen to what I said?" Sakura asked. No.

"I say we let him learn by himself what he has to do." Ino said as she jumped off my table and put the letters back. "It'll be more fun that way…"

I didn't like how she was smiling. It wasn't the usual friendly one. Or even the flirty one. It was more… scary.

Sakura smiled the same way and stood up. "You know what? That sounds like a good idea."

"Wait a minute." I said. "What do I have to do?"

"Toodles!" they said as they linked arms and started walking away. I grabbed Ino's wrist and pulled her back.

"Mmm you're so rough Sasuke…" She giggled.

"Where are you going?" I asked. I hated how panicked I felt. I shouldn't have spaced out on the explanations.

"We're going to see were PCB went off to."

Sakura laughed and looked at her. "PCB? What's PCB?"

"You would've known if you listened!" She replied humorously. Just answer the damn question!

"Ouch! Sasuke!" Ino exclaimed as she slapped my hand away. I didn't realize my grip on her tightened.

"God! PCB is Photocopy Boy!" she continued bitterly as she rubbed her wrist.

"And since it's Naruto he probably wandered around school again." Sakura sighed.

"Naruto's part of this club too?" I asked. Why me? _Why?_ And how come I never knew about it? Ugh… Maybe I spend too much time in my head.

"Yes." Sakura replied exasperatedly. "Stop acting like you don't want him here!" Ino teased.

"What? I don't know what you-, I don't- Shut up Ino! Whatever I'm leaving!" she stammered before walking out of the room.

"Oh come on Sakura!" Ino yelled after her before following. "I was just joking!"

I can't believe they were leaving me! I can't believe I don't want them to leave! "Wait! I don't-"

"Don't worry Sasuke." Choji suddenly said as he continued typing on his computer.

"If you're so smart you should already know what you have to do." Kiba finished for him. I tried to ignore his comment by looking for Shikamaru in hopes he'll shut them up. Instead I found him dozing off near Shino on one of the bean bags.

They then chuckled and shared amused glances. Even the ever silent Shino was smirking at me. That wasn't a good sign.

"I suggest you start by opening one of the letters." Sai said as he passed behind me to get a pencil.

I stared skeptically at the four guys who watched me and reached out to grab one of the letters. I ripped it open and took out the piece of paper.

_Dear Agony aunt,_

_I think I'm falling for one of my teachers! What's worse is that he lives with one of the hottest guys in school! It's horrible! When I see them all I think about is what they do when they're-_

What the… I stopped reading and took another letter and read.

_Sup Auntie,_

_So I'm not comfortable showering with the rest of the guys after P.E… It's just-_

Please don't tell me this is…

_Dear Agony Aunt,_

_My mom won't let me wear a bikini or a thong. How can I convince her that there is nothing wrong with them?_

Oh my fucking god….

"ADVICE!?" I shrieked as I stood up from my chair and threw the letter like it was on fire. "Advice! Are you frickin' kidding me!?"

The guys howled with laughter.

"This is a sick joke!" I yelled even if they weren't listening anymore. "This is what I have to do!? Showers? Thongs!? WHAT THE HELL?"

Suddenly Shikamaru stirred from his sleep and said:

"Welcome to the paper, Agony _Uncle_."

* * *

**CAMPUS LIFE: New addition to the newspaper staff!**

All members of The Flash would like to welcome our new comrade Sasuke Uchiha! We hope you'll have a wonderful time with us. :)

**

* * *

**

LostInspiration312 would like to say she has no idea where this story came from and doesn't know where this will go.

**She claims that this was written due to excessive viewing of reruns of "Student Bodies" and an episode of the "Suite Life with Zack and Cody". Don't ask me why she watches pre-adolescent twins run wild in a hotel owned by a G-rated Paris Hilton caricature. Because I won't be able to answer such a question since I don't live with her. Fortunately. **

**Another thing she wants to clear up is the name of the High School in this fanfic. She went against the usual, Leaf High, Konoha High, etc., and decided to change it up a bit and use the First Hokage's name. How brilliant. And the term Agony Uncle comes from Agony Aunt. An agony aunt is a newspaper columnist who gives advice to people having problems, especially personal ones. Again, how brilliant. **

**She would also like to apologize to all her readers of I Was Wrong and Two-Faced Backstabbing Bridesmaid. The stories are not on Hiatus and will be updated soon. **

…

**However, if she wasn't going around writing five different stories and getting all confused with new plot twists she wouldn't be in this situation. But that's just what I think. And I'm usually right, being who I am and all. **

**Anyways, I've wasted enough time writing what **_**she**_** should, and if I continue bashing her she just might kill me off.**

**She wishes you all enjoy this, and hopes she will get all your support.**

**(Even is she doesn't deserve it. Keeping you all waiting like this…)**

**Until the next chapter, **


	2. What I have to deal with everyday

I slammed the door shut and took off my shoes.

The first thing I noticed was the mouth-watering smell coming from the kitchen. I shrugged and thought that I'd at least have something to eat… That was probably the only _good_ thing about this day from _hell_.

"So what do you think?" I heard Kakashi ask. We had guests?

ARGH!

I angrily made my way to the kitchen. I didn't want any visitors! Besides, doesn't he have our week old Chemistry tests to grade?

"Kakashi!" I shouted, "Who's-"

I didn't have to finish my question.

Over at the counter was Kakashi feeding what seemed like pasta sauce to his stupid pug Pakkun.

I cried out in exasperation and disgust. I can't believe I had to come home to _this_ every single _bloody_ day… Great I'm turning British.

"I think it needs more salt." he told his pug.

"Stop talking to the dog!" I snapped.

"Bad day?" He asked cheerfully as he turned to me. I looked away the moment he did.

I hate that apron. I hate how only two strawberries and an apple covered the woman's naked body printed on it. I don't think I have to tell you what each fruit covered respectively.

"Shut up." I answered as I started to make my way to my room.

"Sasuke come back here." Kakashi said. I sighed and pulled my hair. I then took a step back and faced him.

"What!?"

He smiled at me. A man's face with a woman's body…

ARGH!

"Giving me an attitude won't change whatever you're dealing with."

"Hmph." Think I don't know that? Suddenly his sorry excuse for a dog ran over to sit behind me. I stared at it and it stared back with its big shiny eyes.

I wonder how far it would fly if I kicked it?

"So what happened this time?" Kakashi asked. "A girl asked you out?"

"No." I muttered as I turned my attention back on him, my eyes focused on his face.

"A guy then?" he continued as he put the wooden spoon back in the pan to stir.

"NO!" I yelled. That's gross! He fed a dog with that!

"I was just messing with you Sasuke." Kakashi chuckled. I stared at him in disbelief. He seriously thought I was answering to that question? Didn't he know anything about hygiene!?

"I'm not eating that!" I spat as I pointed at the contaminated sauce. I then turned my heel and went straight to my room, closely followed by Pakkun. Once I arrived I closed the door on its face, ignoring its pained whimpers.

Dropping my bag on the floor, I walked to edge of my bed and slumped on it. Maybe, just maybe, being raised by Kakashi made me this way.

How else could have I turned out? Being brought up by some mask-wearing-porn-reading-dog-talking-cross-dressing freak? I sighed deeply. Yup, I was bound to grow into a social retard.

Regrettably, my door creaked open. "I thought I told you to knock first!" I snarled.

Kakashi then closed it.

I then heard knocking on my door.

"Can I come in now?"

"NO!"

"Too bad." He answered merrily as he opened the door for the second time and stepped in along with Pakkun. He was still wearing the apron.

I let out an aggravated sigh and covered my head with a pillow. "So I'm guessing you were informed about joining the paper?" Kakshi asked tentatively.

"Hn." I replied as I peeked at him. He walked over to my desk and sat on my swivel chair. I loved that chair… and now I had to burn it.

He pushed himself and swiftly rolled near my bed. Unfortunately he didn't run over Pakkun who jumped on my stomach just in time. "So why are you back so early?"

"I left." I replied as I took the suffocating pillow off my face and placed it under my head. I still felt suffocated.

"Why?"

"Because." I answered as I pushed Pakun off my stomach. Ah, relief. He was getting fat. Maybe he was Kakashi's food taster this whole time… I suddenly felt sick.

"Because what?"

I shrugged. Kakashi stared at me.

"What does -he shrugged- mean?"

I mimicked his exaggerated shrug. "Means," I finished with a shrug.

"Amazing." He replied in awe. I glared at him. What an idiot.

Really, I'm constantly surrounded by them. As if the image of stupid-ness wasn't complete his dog jumped on his lap and stared at me too.

Perfect.

"You know, you'll be in serious trouble tomorrow." Kakshi sighed. He rubbed the sides of his head. "And me too."

"Typical," I said. "You only think of yourself."

"Aww Sasuke wants attention." Kakashi told Pakun as he petted his head. I turned my back on the dim BFFs Forever and closed my eyes. I didn't want _attention_. I just want to be _alone_.

"Sasuke?"

I didn't answer.

"So you're refusing to talk to me huh?" he asked.

"…" Yes.

"He doesn't want to talk to me." He muttered to Pakkun.

I gripped my pillow tight. I could imagine it now in the Konoha Times: Crazed Teenager Murders Pug and Guardian with Pillow!

"Yes I wouldn't be surprised." Kakashi mumbled followed by a sigh.

If I was someone else I might have cried. I was embarrassed _for_ him! Why couldn't he just see how dumb he looks when he talked to himself like that? Okay, so he was talking to the dog… but it's still as dumb.

I heard him stand up and push the chair back to my desk. I glanced at him over my shoulder and furrowed my brows. So he was just leaving now? What happened to staying in my room until I couldn't stand his presence anymore and spilled the beans?

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Going to call an ambulance." He replied.

"Why?" I asked incredulously. Was he finally admitting himself into a psych-ward?

He stopped at the doorframe and turned to me with an annoying smile on his face.

"Because you're having an emo-gency!"

I let out an angry scream and flew to my door and slammed the door shut. I could still hear his deafening laughter.

"I HATE YOU!" I yelled.

"Shut up and pull the stick out Sasuke!"

How rude.

* * *

I stirred and realized I was lying on my back.

I fell asleep?

I opened my eyes and saw it was still a bit bright outside. Was it dawn? I pushed myself up and rubbed my eyes. I can't believe I fell asleep. How could someone sleep when they were fuming?

My sight cleared and I noticed I was still in my uniform. I sighed and took off my shirt. I didn't feel like changing. I didn't even feel like going to school.

I glanced at my watch. It was only 7… PM!?

THIS FRICKIN DAY NEVER ENDS!! I SLEPT FOR ONLY TWO HOURS GOD DAMNIT!!

Oh great! GREAT! The doorbell just rang. Who could that be!?

"SASUKEEEEEEEEE!"

That _screech._

"YOU BASTARD!"

The greatest love of my life was here.

I heard the angry stomping reach my chamber of love and my door burst open. Before I could I lie back down I was showered with papers.

"YOU FORGOT YOUR LETTERS!"

Can't you just hear the violins play? The heavens sing?

"YOU'VE REALLY DONE IT THIS TIME ASSHOLE! SAKURA WAS PISSED!"

No? Me neither.

"YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE LIKE THAT!"

"I just did idiot." I mumbled.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN I-"

"Idiot and Bastard _please_ keep it down! I'm grading tests!" Kakashi bellowed as he popped his head in my room.

"Hey!" Naruto and I exclaimed in unison.

"I didn't even say anything!" I defended as I stood up, causing the letters to fall off me.

"Don't make me fail you!" Kakashi said to the both of us before leaving once again.

"H-He can do that?" Naruto asked. He turned to me. "He can do that!?" he asked again. I winced at the high decibel level in which he spoke. How much did it take to make you deaf again?

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" He continued.

"Yes I can!" Kakashi yelled from his working space. "Not that it would change your grade."

"YOU'RE SAYING THAT NOW KAKASHI! BUT JUST YOU WAIT! I'M GOING TO HOKAGE UNIVERSITY SOMEDAY!"

Good grief. How many times have I heard this speech already? And how many times must I remind him that it will _never_ happen? Hokage University is probably the most prestigious one here in the Fire Country, and if that dweeb continues the way he is he can just kiss that dream goodbye.

As Naruto continued his one-sided argument I picked up one of the envelopes on my bed. It was pink. Enough said.

These envelopes were the reason I left. I couldn't take another moment of sitting there being the butt of all jokes and thinking about the crap job I had to do. I, and the rest of the staff, know that I'm the _wrong_ person for it. Let's take into consideration that I don't talk much with the other faceless students, let alone know their names. I pay no attention to them in the hallways and the school grounds. I don't even go around and stick my nose in their business like most people do!

Who's dating who? I don't know. Who's drugging themselves in the second floor toilet? I don't know. Whose party is coming up this Saturday?

_I. Do. Not. Know._

I ate lunch on the frickin roof-top until the teachers forced me back into the cafeteria and "live the high school experience" for god's sake! Was that the kind of person that would give advice? Help people solve their problems?

Uh…

No.

And let me add more emphasis to that statement by adding: "duh!"

"Earth to Sasuke!"

I shook my head and found Naruto waving his hand in front of my face. I seemed to have drifted off again.

"Man you really have to stop doing that. No wonder people are afraid of you."

I glared at him. People weren't afraid of me… much.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I went over to my desk and sat on my swivel chair. I know I said I'd burn it but I like it too much.

"They wanted me to give you the letters." He shrugged. "Sakura was going to come also, but she was afraid she'd kill you instead."

"How sweet of her." I said.

"It's about time she noticed you're a jerk." Naruto snorted.

I couldn't help but smirk at that. I was glad she got over her pitiful crush on me. She even claimed she loved me once upon a time. Which might have been true. I could safely say she was one of the few people I acknowledged since I was younger. I grew up with her and Naruto, along with the other people in the paper. But it's not like I wanted to! Konoha was a pretty small town back then.

"And finally notice you?" I taunted.

"Sakura wants me." Naruto smugly said. I almost laughed.

"I'd like to see you say that when she's around." I replied as I grabbed my bag on the floor and took out the many books in it.

"You're doing homework?" he asked as he quickly walked over to my desk. "Oh! Oh! Can you help me with Physics?"

"No."

"Why not?" he asked. "You're good in Physics!"

"I know that." I said as I switched my Physics book to my Spanish one. "Why don't you just listen in class instead of sleeping?"

"But it's so _boring_!"

I can't deny that one. I sighed. "Naruto, you came here and did what you had to do so just leave okay?"

"And let you throw the letters in the trash? No way!" he replied. Shit. I never thought of that…

"I'll answer them." I snapped as I stood from my desk and grabbed a handful of letters. "Now get out!"

"No you get out!" he replied as he roughly shoved me.

"This is my room stupid!" I yelled as I shoved him back.

"Oh yeah?" Naruto replied. "Well… uh… you don't pay rent!"

I stared at him. "What!?"

"You don't pay rent!" he repeated loudly.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

"You're the stupidest thing I've ever seen!" Naruto answered.

Suddenly thunderous laughter was heard from somewhere in the apartment. Damn you Kakashi.

I crushed the letters in my hands and walked to where Naruto was standing. My sight had turned red.

"S-Sasuke?" Naruto asked fearfully followed by nervous laughs.

"You have until one." I said through my teeth.

"Let's not be too hasty."

"Ten."

"B-Buddy?"

"Nine."

"I didn't mean it!"

"Eight."

"Stop being such a dick!"

"One."

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"_

* * *

He was lucky Kakashi was there to ground me before I could do any real harm.

Not that there was _any_ harm done. A bleeding nose and twisted arm weren't incurable.

So now here I was, lounging on the couch and switching channels on the TV.

"Are you done with your homework?" Kakashi asked as he continued grading tests.

"Yes." I answered. I was so bored I did all of them. Then again, I was also avoiding something else I had to do.

"Liar." Kakashi replied.

"Whatever." I wasn't answering any letters. Not now, not ever.

"You can at least read one." he mumbled. "Isn't in anonymous?"

"Yes." I said as I randomly stopped on one channel. Agony Aunt and the people who need help remain anonymous. For that reason, I had to write different articles as not to blow my cover.

"So why all the drama?" Kakshi asked. "If you suck no one will know it's you."

"I don't help people." I said with a yawn.

"You're just scared"

I stopped at mid stretch. What did he just say?

"You're scared at sucking so you don't even want to try."

"I'm not scared." I spat. And I don't think I'd suck! I was just the wrong person for it, that simple.

"Right." Kakashi mocked. I glowered at his back. So he thought I couldn't do it huh? Just like the others?

I stood up from the couch and determinedly walked to my room. I'd show them! Me scared? Hah! Of what? Advice giving? That was nothing!

I grabbed the scattered letters from my floor and bed and placed them on my desk. I'd prove to everyone I could do this. I could do anything I set my mind on. I'd even give Hinata a run for her money. I'd make her regret leaving and making me do this job for her.

I took one of the opened letters and read. I recognized this as one I already saw back at school. The girl who had a problem regarding thongs and bikinis.

_Dear Agony Aunt,_

_My mom won't let me wear a bikini or a thong. How can I convince her that there is nothing wrong with them?_

_-Hime's Secret_

What's the big deal? Don't all girls wear bikinis nowadays? And no one would see her thong! Unless she wore those ultra low rise jeans and pulled the straps up. Are they even called straps? What the hell are those things called?

_Why _am I thinking of this?

I turned the paper over and stared at the blank page for a moment. I picked up my pen and placed it on the page. The solution was so simple! Why did she even bother asking me for advice?

_**Dear Hime's Secret,**_

_**Have you ever heard of lying?**_

I stared at what I wrote. It _was_ true… Her mother wouldn't go around checking what underwear she was wearing right? As for the bikini, she just had to hide in her bag or something.

Ugh, whatever.

Next letter. Crap, it was long.

_Dear Agony Aunt,_

_I was going out with someone for a few weeks and we were getting along really well until I got insecure and accused him of cheating. I apologized and asked if we could go out again but he said he needed to sleep on it! We're still texting each other but he still has not given me an answer! I really like him but how can I get him back? Is there still a chance for us?_

_-Hoping and Wishing_

Was this girl stupid?

_**Dear Hoping and Wishing,**_

_**No.**_

I stared at the word. I sighed. Maybe I should add something.

_**If the guy was really into you he would've answered by now. **_

I think that's enough. On to the next one.

_Dear Agony Aunt,_

_I can't seem to stop sweating. _(Wow this person went straight to the point.) _I apply multiple cans of deodorant, wash every day; all to no avail. I actually can't wear short-sleeved tops because of the level of sweat. Have you got any hints on how I could stop my over-perspiring problem?_

_-Sweating for Da Ladiez_

…

…

I bent over my chair and tried to hold back the laughter in my throat. What a loser!

_**Dear Sweating for Da Ladiez,**_

_**Tape Always Ultra pads under your arms. Have a happy sweat.**_

HAHAHAHA!

* * *

**Only Sasuke can take advice giving and twist it into something else...**

**So this was the second chapter to My Agony as the Agony Uncle, or what I like to call MATAAU! Don't you just love saying it?**

**Mataau! Mataau! It almost sounds like some kind of bird shriek. MATAAU!**

**Anyways, LostInspiration312 hopes you enjoyed this chapter just as much as you enjoyed the previous one. From what Forehead told me, the author was pretty nervous to update due to the great response this story received. She wasn't expecting it and found all the attention rather intimidating for something she thought of on a whim. But she's still beaming from all your feedback and she wishes that it showed in this chapter. **

**With that said, see you in the next chapter! Hopefully Sasuke would come around by then. But knowing him, he probably won't. :cries:**

**

* * *

**

LostInspiration312 told me to say something.

**Something.**


	3. First meeting with Miss Agony

Who would've thought I'd cause such a riot?

Wait, I'm a riot...?

Oh man I crack myself up sometimes.

Looking at the bickering group in front of me, it's hard to believe everything was going great. I woke up before my alarm, Kakashi left me alone, we went to school on time and didn't hear from Tsunade like we assumed, I didn't get kicked out of any classes, I got to sit in my favorite spot on the rooftop for lunch, and I successfully tuned everyone out for the most part.

Yup, everything was fine until I went into the newsroom like a good boy.

"What do you mean we _have_ to print this?"

"It's good entertainment."

"This isn't about entertainment you fag!"

"Sakura! Don't punch-"

"Shut up Hag."

"DON'T CALL _**MY**_SAKURA A HAG!"

"DON'T CALL ME _**YOUR**_SAKURA!"

"Dickless and Hag."

You see, once I arrived I went straight to see Shikamaru, foolishly thinking I'd be able to leave earlier. However, the Sloth asked me to stay while he read the advice I gave back. Something about letting me know what I have to edit and whatnot. Not that I'd give two shits about it. Besides, I was under the impression that "editing" one's _thoughts_ was censorship. Isn't that a big no-no?

"This is why I didn't want to be Editor…"

"Cut the depressed act and go hang yourself!"

"Go choke on your celery sticks."

"Shika! I can't believe you!"

"Stop it both of you! Stress makes me hungry!"

"OH REALLY!?"

"MY _CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPS_!! _NOOOOOO_!!"

Finally, when he was done he called Sakura over. I thought it was just to ask her to print my letters out or something. But apparently he wanted her to read them. I was so sure he wanted to show how well I did… until I saw Sakura's expression after reading my advice. "We can't print this!" was what she exclaimed amidst Shikamaru's repressed laughter.

"But it's funny!"

"You see!? Even he thinks so!"

"No it isn't!"

"But Sakuraaa! Yes it is!"

"I agree. It takes balls to print this, something you lack."

"I NEVER SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO PRINT THEM ASSHOLE!"

"Naruto just shut up!"

"No _**you**_ shut up Kiba!"

"Suddenly defending your boyfriend Sakura?"

Of course, General Pink Loudmouth's war-cry then attracted Colonel Blonde Loudmouth and Lieutenant Idiot Loudmouth. Sakura then showed my letters to Ino and Naruto and it was Loudmouth heyday after that. Examples? "OH MY GOD! This is cruel!" or "What the fuck!? No it isn't!? SASUKE-BASTARD THIS IS HILARIOUS!"

Oh yes my letters are completely omgwtfbbq-worthy.

"Do you want to know why I don't like this?"

"No!"

"It goes against Hinata's memory."

"Christ Shino! It's not like she's dead or anything! Lighten up!"

"I'll light you up."

"… That was _so_ wrong!"

Quickly enough my letters spread through the whole newsroom, spurring different reactions from everyone, thus resulting in this epic spit-spraying, name-calling-and-screaming match.

"GODAMNIT! I HAVE A DICK! I HAVE A PENIS! SEE!?"

"NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"I can't see it."

"OH MY GOD! _HELL-O_ NARUTO!"

"WHY!? My CHIPS! MY- WAAAHH! EW!"

"WHAT THE HELL!?"

"I'll get my camera."

"MY EYES! MY EYES! THEY BUUUUUURN!"

"SASUKE-BASTARD THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

…

Now t_hat's_ disgusting.

* * *

They've brought in the big guns.

Or more accurately, the big gun _found_ us.

"Never, _**NEVER**_ have I seen such stupidity!"

You're so lucky Kurenai.

"Mrs. Saruto-"

"I'm not done yet!" she interrupted Kiba, who gulped and looked down at his knees. The only thing missing was the tail between his legs.

"I'm so disappointed! _This_ isn't what I expect from all of you!"

I continued staring at her. Was it odd for me to find Mrs. Sarutobi attractive when she was upset?

"What are you smirking at Uchiha?" she snapped.

Damn it. That was hot.

"Nothing." I replied. Great, of all times for my mouth to betray me!

Laughter was heard from the hallway and we all saw Kakashi, Anko and Gai in hysterics. Kurenai huffed as she turned her back to us and slammed the door shut. She then let out a frustrated groan and pinched the bridge of her nose while muttering something to herself.

"Mrs. Sarutobi! We can expla-"

"Naruto." She rasped with a dangerous edge to her voice. "Don't. Talk."

"BUT SA-"

"I don't care! You've shared enough with us!"

Kiba snorted and Shikamaru and I quickly nudged him back into silence. Unfortunately, Chouji, oh so "discreetly", burst into laughter.

You might be wondering in what state we were in when Kurenai found us. To sum it up it was pretty ugly… and exposed.

The newsroom is situated on the third floor, right on the other end from the teacher's lounge. Since it's Friday and the day was done for most students, it was pretty quiet, until the screaming started. From what I'm guessing, the teachers heard the commotion and ran to see what happened. Only to find the eight of us in various states of disgust and shock, and a surprise visit from Naruto Jr.

Kurenai loudly sighed as she dropped herself heavily unto the seat of the front desk. "I already have a child at home…"

"Mrs. Sahruhdobi…" Sakura hesitated as she continued pinching her bleeding nose.

"It wond habben again!" Ino intervened, pinching her also bloody nose.

This time Shikamaru and Kiba joined Chouji in his laughter. I looked over at Naruto who was grinning smugly. Yeah go ahead idiot, inflate your head even more with air.

"Boys! Stop it!" Kurenai demanded. However, I could clearly see the amused smile on her soft, red… whatever, lips.

"I should give detention to all of you." she mused.

"NO!" the nine of us said in unison. Wow… I actually joined in…

"Well…" Kurenai chuckled. "I guess seeing Naruto in all his glory was punishment enough. Except for those two." She finished with a nod towards Sakura and Ino.

"Mrs. Sahruhdobi!" They exclaimed embarrassingly. The guys laughed a little more as I smirked. Whatever girls, your bleeding noses are proof enough.

She giggled and gently raised her hand up to quiet us down. "Good thing Hinata wasn't present, oh dear…" She added with a laugh. How did she manage to go from terrifying to nurturing in a couple of minutes?

"Tell you what," she said as she rose from her seat. "I won't punish any of you, but I expect you to resolve this mess. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes." We chanted. I hate to say I'm getting the hang of this speaking-in-unison thing…

"Good. I'll leave you to it then. However," she started as she paused at the door for dramatic affect. "Do such a display again Naruto, and you _will_ be suspended."

And with that, her delectable butt left us.

Oh crap. I'm so going to hell for this.

I just checked out a teacher.

* * *

When everything was settled we all instinctively turned towards Shikamaru.

Everyone's opinion was taken into account. Every consequence was thought of, and every reaction possible was guessed. And I just wanted to _leave_.

"So Shikamaru," Sakura said as she wiped her nose clean. "What will it be?"

He looked at each of our faces, as though looking for anything that would give away our feeling on the subject. His gaze settled on me and I started back in apathy. He raised a brow and I responded with a glare. What the hell does he want? Couldn't he just give us an answer?

"So!?" Naruto asked impatiently. Well said.

Shikamaru smirked.

"We're printing them."

* * *

"When are you going to see her?" Sakura asked as she linked her arm around mine. I tried tugging it away but her hold was too strong. Damn gymnastics.

"Yeah Sasuke when are you?" Naruto asked. I smirked as I saw his arm linked around Sakura's as well.

"Today." I sighed. Since my letters are going to be printed, they thought it would be a good idea to get the ones Hinata has been writing and get our ideas together. That's going to be something…

"Aren't you working?" Naruto asked as he tried to hold Sakura's hand, who slapped it away.

"I called to say I wouldn't."

"What's your excuse?" Sakura asked.

"Mental scarring." I sneered.

Sakura laughed as Naruto yelled out a string of curses.

We continued walking for a while as they both talked about nonsense. I was glad I had a reason not to go to work today. I could have easily gone to see Hinata tomorrow, but I like to sleep in before going to work. Besides, it's not like I enjoyed working at Killer Movies. Even the video rental store's name makes me shiver. Killer Movies? Ugh. Owned by the equally cheesy, Samuel L. Jackson/Tu-Pac-wannabe, "Killer Bee". That guy couldn't rap to save his sad life.

"Oh!" Sakura suddenly exclaimed. "You got Hinata's number right? And address?

"Yeah Shino gave them to me."

Naruto let go of Sakura and walked backwards to face me. "OUH! Sasuke got Hinata's number!" he then continued humiliating himself by making kissing noises. I stared at the bystanders and glared at them. This was _so_ embarrassing… Sakura finally let go of me to smack him. Nice!

"Ouch! Sakura!" Naruto whined as he rubbed his head.

"You should've just kept your mouth shut!" She spat as she quickly walked away from us.

"Aw! See Sakura! You don't like to hurt me!" he beamed as he threw his arms around her waist to bring her back to us, making her cheeks stain with pink.

"Whatever freak!" She said as she tried to pry his arms off.

I wonder how Sakura became one of the smartest students in school when right now she was completely _clueless_. When will she realize-

"Thanks for walking me to work Sasuke!" Sakura interrupted my thoughts as she skipped to her salon. I didn't even realize we were already here.

"Hey! I'm here too!"

"I didn't walk you to work." I retorted. "This just happens to be on the way to Hinata's place."

"Uh huh whatever you say." She teased. She went over to the door with Naruto following her like a dog. "By the way, you need a haircut soon."

"I'm not letting you cut my hair again." Yeah I know what you're asking yourself, why would I let _her_ cut _my_ hair? Well first of all it was free, and second of all, it was… _free_.

"You gave me these stupid bangs."

"They're not stupid!" Sakura defended. "They make you look hotter!"

"They make you look emo!" Naruto sniggered. "Ow! Sakura that hurts!"

I frowned and walked away from them. "You're dead tomorrow Idiot."

"Okay!"

* * *

I've never really ventured into the Mount Hokage part of Konoha.

I never had any reason to. I just figured the higher I went up the mountain the snobbier and richer the people would be.

But seeing as Hinata lives here, I guess I have no other choice.

I continued looking at the door as I leaned on the stone balustrade of the stairs. I was surprised it wasn't the mansion I thought it would be. It was an old-fashioned looking townhouse situated not too high nor too low on the mountain. It was made out of stone and had many windows covered by buttercup colored drapes; one would say it even looked _charming_. Ugh…

I cringed and lazily brought up a finger to ring the bell. The faster I get this over with the better. I just hoped she'd cooperate with me. Girls seem to have this gift of getting in my way. Like I said before, this is all her fault. I stepped back and placed my hands into my pockets while waiting for someone to open the door.

Oddly enough, no one did. I sighed and rang the bell once again. They probably didn't hear me. Besides, I remember Ino calling earlier to see if Hinata was home, and she was.

Three minutes. Still no answer.

I rang the bell twice and waited.

Nothing.

"What the hell?" I muttered. I flipped my phone open and dialed Hinata's cell number.

"H-Hello?" a meek voice answered.

"Are you home?" I demanded. I realize it wasn't the best way to introduce myself but I didn't care. It's not like we didn't know each other. And why should I be nice to someone who got me into this mess?

"I-Is this Sasuke?" she asked.

"No it's not Sasuke." I mocked as I rolled my eyes.

"Oh… wh-who is it?"

Is she stupid!?

"It's Sasuke!"

"Oh! Why did you say you weren-… never mind."

…

Idiot.

"Open the door." I spat. Silence replied. "_Hello_ are you listening?"

"_Beeeeeeeep_." She hung up on me?

SHE HUNG UP ON ME!?

I went up to her door and banged on it. "I know you're in there! Open up!"

I angrily pushed the doorbell repeatedly. I'd show her! Who the hell was _she_ to hang up on _me_!

"OPEN THE DAMN D-"

The door suddenly cracked open.

Oh goodie.

"About time." I scoffed.

"Sasuke?" her voice questioned, muffled by the door between us.

"Who else!?"

"Hi..." She mumbled.

"Are you going to let me in or not?" I snapped. Geeze, she was weird! I couldn't even see her because of the damn door!

"Well… yeah."

"So!?" I JUST WANT TO GET THIS OVER WITH! GAWD!

"D-Did you ever g-get the chickenpox?"

What the…

"The chickenpox." I repeated dumbly. I swear I would've had those sweat drops if I was animated.

"Yes."

I stared at the door for a moment. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"N-No! I just want- please answer…"

I raised a brow. "Uh… yeah?" I answered skeptically.

"Oh, okay."

"Why the hell do you want to kn- oh..." I trailed off. "Hinata?" I sighed, a little irritated as I tugged at my hair. "Do _you_ have the chickenpox?"

"…Yes."

"Hmph." Oh hell I'm going to spend time with a sick person.

"I had the f-flu first though…"

Damn, no wonder she missed school for about two weeks.

"Sasuke?"

Is it me or does she sound like a mouse when she says my name? "What again?"

"P-Please don't laugh at me..."

I cringed. She just _HAD_ to be endearing! I hate it! "It's only chickenpox. It's not a big deal."

"So you won't make fun of m-me?"

"No."

"Promise?"

Yuck, do I_ have _to promise? "Whatever."

As though it was the magic word the door suddenly flung open. And yet I still couldn't see her since hid behind the door again. I smirked. Why did I have the feeling teasing her would be fun? If only I'd give in to such an immature thing.

I stepped in and looked around. My assumptions of it being cozy were right. It was clean, and smelled curiously of apples. Family pictures were hung on beige colored walls, and placed above a stone fireplace. Soft couches were positioned around an antique wooden table. And further away was an awesome plasma TV. From what I see, I was in the living room and further to my right was as staircase leading up to the second floor.

The door closed behind me and Hinata quickly walked away with her head down and her hood on. She looked like a Jedi. In a black velour tracksuit with the word _Juicy_ printed on her back… but a Jedi nonetheless.

I followed her amusedly as we made our way past the living room and into the white kitchen. She went straight to one of the counters without looking back at me. "Do y-you want something to drink?" she asked as she took a steaming kettle and poured herself a cup.

"No."

"O-Oh… Umm is there s-something else you want?" she asked as she went to one of the cupboards to get a small jar. She had yet to face me, but I got sidetracked by the glimpse of her waist as she went on her toes to get it. Hmm, so underneath that big sweatshirt she had a body after all, not to mention her fitted pants made her butt look-

Okay, something's wrong with me. What is it with me and butts today?

"No." I replied, remembering her previous question.

"Are you s-sure?" she asked as she started to stir the contents of her mug.

I looked at her back. Was she planning on not looking at me the entire time I'd be here? How the hell would we get anything done?

"I want you to look at me." I said. I took a seat on the table and saw she piled up some of the letters I had to pick up.

"I w-will..."

"When?" I asked as I took some of the letters. She had around 20, not bad. I'd give them to Shikamaru on Monday. "I asked you a question." I added as I noticed her unresponsiveness. She still didn't answer.

"Am I that scary?" I demanded as turned to look at her.

"Yes. I mean ye- n-no! No! ...whatever the r-right answer is…" she fumbled.

I stared at her back incredulously as I bit my lip to fight the laughter in my throat. 'Whatever the right answer is?' She's hilarious! I was right; making this girl squirm _is_ fun…Maybe I could indulge in a little bit of immaturity…

"I'm sorry…" She mumbled.

"I don't care." I shrugged. So she was afraid of me. Big deal. Wait a minute… she was afraid of me… and I like to see her squirm… I smirked as an idea, albeit stupid, popped into my head.

"After all, it's your fault I'm here to scare you with my presence." I said leisurely.

"I-I didn't m-mean it!" she meekly exclaimed to the wall.

"You can make up for the trouble then." I can't believe she seriously agreed about this being her fault.

"H-How?" she asked, her voice laced with hope. She was too nice for her own good.

My smirked widened as she stood on her toes yet again to place the jar back, giving me another exquisite view of her backside.

If I'm going to hell, I might as well enjoy the ride.

* * *

**What the fuck is Sasuke thinking!? If he touches her...!**

**That fother mucker!**

**Too pissed to write anything else!**

**Inuzuka K.**

* * *

**I'm just having a bit of fun people. Geeze… **

**The more reviews LostInspiration312 gets, the less harm I'll do to Hinata. That is all.**

**Uchiha S. **


	4. I was right calling her Miss AGONY

Oh.

You're back.

Just in time too, because I was just about to answer to Hinata's question on how she could make it up to me.

"I'll think of something." I joked.

She looked so nervous standing there while drinking from her mug. It's pretty sad really, that it was so obvious to me even when I was facing her back. She was almost like the prey that knew its inevitable fate.

I should stop and feel ashamed.

Okay, I'm done.

"Hinata." I said, breaking the heavy silence.

"Hmm?" She inquired. Her head slightly turned to look at me.

"When are your dad and sister coming back?" I asked. Thank God that prick Neji left for college.

"Umm, this e-evening." She replied before stirring the contents of her mug. "Hanabi has a sleepover th-though…"

"So we're alone?" I asked as a smirk grew on my face.

The stirring went up a notch. "Y-Yes."

Hmm… Interesting.

I sighed dramatically. "I'm bored."

She continued stirring. Was she trying to drill a hole into that thing?

"I said I'm bored." I repeated louder.

"I p-promise w-we'll do it soon!"

I raised a brow. Oh Hinata, if only you knew all the connotations of what you just said…

"The letters?" I asked as I leaned back on the chair.

"Yes. I m-mean that's all you're here for r-right?"

"Right." I agreed. "Unless…" I mused. "There's something else you had planned?"

"I d-didn't plan a-anything!" She defended as she wildly shook her head.

"Shame." I murmured as I silently stood up.

"_I_ was thinking of _something_…" I continued as stealthily made my way towards her. I stared at her back and saw her posture tense. She was scared. I bit my lip so I wouldn't laugh.

Poor girl.

I stopped right behind her and looked down at her petite form. I could tell she was aware of my presence and wondered if she was still breathing.

Now don't worry, I'm not going to grope her or anything. I'm not like that. I only want to tease her, not outright disrespect her.

What? Surprised that I have morals?

I'll probably just scare her into showing me her face and laugh at how horrible it looks.

With that decided, I placed a hand on her arm…

And everything spiralled down into chaos.

There was a surprised yelp.

A flash of her white eyes.

A hand flying up, crashing into my nose.

And then an unbearable, excruciating pain.

"_**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHH!!!!**_" I yelled as I clutched my bleeding nose. "SHIT! SHIT! DAMNIT IT!"

"SASUKE! OHMYGODSASUKE! I'msosorry! I'msosorryIdidntmeanitohmygod!" Hinata cried as she touched my face.

"DOND TOUCH ME!" I shouted as I threw her hand away. "DIDND MEAN ID!? BUHLLSHIT!"

"You startled me!"

"ID DIDND LOOK LIKE ID!"

She gasped as she saw the blood on my face and hands. "You're bleeding!"

"NO DUH!"

"I'll get ice! Water! B-Bandages!" She panicked as she darted all over the place. "I'll get-"

She stopped fretting and swayed a bit. She placed a shaking hand on her forehead. "I-I can't breathe…"

She started hyperventilating.

Oh SHIT!

"DOND FAINT!" I begged. "I'M WARNING YOU!" This always happened to her!

"I won't!" She shrieked.

And then she fell with a loud thud.

"WHY NOW!?" I yelled at her motionless form. "WHY DO YOU HAB SUCH LOW BLOOD PRESSURE!?"

I went over to her in hopes she didn't injure her head. "DON'D YOU HAB ENOUGH BLOOD IN YOURBRAIN?"

As I hovered over her, blood dripped onto her sweatshirt. "CRAP!"

I turned her head to the side before standing up once again and going towards the sink, leaving a gory trail of blood behind me.

"You're lucky I'm not letting you choke on your tongue!" I railed on.

I turned the faucet on and let the cold water run under my hands and alternated throwing some at Hinata and spraying my face.

"Wake up stupid!" I screeched as I took the hose from the sink and sprayed her with it.

I turned away from her and placed the hose over my nose. God it hurts! I turned the knob and reduced the flow. This didn't do shit! I angrily glared at the body on the floor.

"I hope you're happy!"

I looked around for something I could wipe my nose with and spotted two towels hanging by the oven. I glided over, careful not to step on the water on the floor and Hinata, and took them. I placed one under my nose.

To hell if it would stain! SHE did this to ME!

I wet the other one with water and flung it on Hinata's face. "Wake up you annoying wimp!"

I groaned in pain as I applied to much pressure to my nose. The blood just wasn't stopping! I went back to the sink and stood above it. This is great. Just what I wanted! An almost broken nose!

"WHY WON'D YOU WAKE UP!?"

Now I wasn't panicking. I _don't _panic. I just didn't want to be blamed if anything were to happen to her. But how long did it take someone to regain consciousness? A couple of minutes? Hours? How much time has passed now?

Suddenly I heard a soft groan. I snapped my head back to Hinata's direction.

She gently pushed herself back up to sitting position and took the towel off her face.

"Why am I all wet?"

"GIVE ME ICE!" I demanded, accidentally dropping my towel to the ground, causing the blood to pour down my shirt.

"Your nose!" She gasped.

And she fell yet again.

"FINE! I'LL GET IT MYSELF!" I yelled as I stomped towards the fridge…

Until I slipped on a puddle of water and fell on my ass.

* * *

"Expect some sunny periods with a high of 12 degrees for tomorrow, and light-"

My nose stopped bleeding a little bit.

"Seems like the weather won't be as warm anymore Junko, Monday will-"

But it's still painful.

And I'm still with Hinata.

I looked to my right and saw her at the edge of the couch, clinging onto a cushion.

After she had fainted for the second time, and I had regained my dignity after that embarrassing fall, I found the miraculous ice I so wanted.

I warped some in the bloody towel I had and placed it on my nose, hoping it would make it feel better. Just when I sat on the table, Hinata woke up again and took deep breaths before anything else could happen.

"Thank you Noriyaki. In other news, fires in the west have been-"

I'm glad to say she didn't faint or anything. As a matter of fact, she went right away to clean up the mess I created in the kitchen. She busied herself by rinsing the blood off the sink, wiping the water and blood off the floors…

I knew it was just her way of avoiding me at all costs, which I didn't mind.

When it was all done and she couldn't avoid me any longer, she mumbled something about having to change clothes. I looked at her dishevelled state and agreed. Her wet hair was sticking to her face, she had blood on her sweatshirt and neck, and I finally saw the little spots that covered her face.

I didn't understand why she was making such a big deal about them. They were almost gone.

So imagine my surprise when she pointed to my shirt and said: "You have to change."

Well, she didn't exactly say it like that. It was more like "Y-Y-Yo-You ha-hav-have t-t-to ch-change." Okay so I'm exaggerating, but so what?

I dumbly followed her to what was once Neji's room and accepted the shirt she offered me. It was just a simple white T-Shirt, but I didn't want to wear it. It was _Neji's_ after all. A _reject _of Neji's too.

However, I had to agree when she said I couldn't go home looking the way I did. I looked like I just committed a murder. It would've made a great Halloween costume.

She then left me for a while as she went to change as well.

And that's how we ended up here, sitting on her couch watching the news, not speaking, glancing or even acknowledging one another.

I took the towel off my nose and noticed all the ice had melted.

Hinata notice this too and stood up. "I'll get some more." She said as she took the bowl in front of me and darted to the kitchen.

I watched her as she left, my eyes roaming around her waist and backside.

She has a nice body.

When she changed she didn't wear any sweatshirt over her anymore. She just tied her hair up and wore a different pair of fitted velour pants and a t-shirt.

Which, I have to admit, showed me "The Breasts."

"The Breasts" is a term of endearment we secretly have for Hinata's chest.

When we were around fifteen, Hinata left Konoha during the summer to go on a trip with her family. Then school started and she came back, with a newly transformed body.

Or to put it bluntly, the girl grew boobs.

Nice ones too. Not to big or to small. Boobs.

"Here," Hinata said, getting my attention back to reality. "I also brought you some water."

"Hmph." I replied. Thoughtful.

I gulped the water down and placed it on the coffee table. I suddenly felt a bit bad for checking her out.

"Sasuke…" Hinata said as she continued watching the news.

"What?"

"I'm sorry." She said as she turned to me. I twitched. Ah geeze. Again with the whole sweet act.

"You don't have to apologize." I sighed as I looked at her.

"Yes I do." She mumbled.

"No."

"I was a-always told never to f-fight when it wasn't needed."

I snorted. So much for following the rules.

"Y-You really did surprise m-me though…" Hinata practically whispered. "It just h-happened…"

"Who taught you to punch like that?" I asked. I couldn't hide my curiosity. Here in front of me was this seemingly meek and gentle girl, yet she strikes like a pro!

"My late uncle used to own a dojo…" was that pride I hear in her voice? "I-I work there." She quickly finished.

"I see." I said. Okay, I was _not _expecting that. She knew how to fight… impressive.

It was quiet after. Both our attentions of the TV screen. It was now showing some sleazy celebrity gossip show.

"Umm… where d-do you w-work again?" Hinata asked. I furrowed my brows at her question. Why was she talking to me?

"Killer Movies." I cringed.

"Oh okay."

I stared at her curiously. She quickly glanced at me and back at the TV.

"Sakura and Ino g-go there often?"

"Yes and they're annoying." I answered as I filled my towel with ice and raised it to my nose.

"They aren't that bad."

"I wouldn't know." I shrugged. I glanced at her and noticed her arms had almost lost all the spots on them. She really had no reason to be shy about it anymore.

"How'd you get the chickenpox?" I blurted out. Damn it. I didn't like small talk. But I couldn't help it.

"I got it from one of the little kids in the dojo." She giggled. She then seemed like she did something embarrassing and looked away, a blush staining her cheeks.

"Sucks to be you." I mumbled.

She nodded.

I smirked.

I then unexpectedly felt uncomfortable at how intrigued I was. I never really care much for what people do with their lives, actually; I never really care for people in general, so this freaks me out.

"I have to go." I said as I placed my towel on the bowl and stood up.

"Will you be okay?" Hinata asked as she stood up as well.

"Yeah I'll be fine."

We stood there awkwardly before I turned to get my bag from the kitchen.

"I'll get the letters." I said as I took them and placed them in my bag.

"Ok, and umm I'll g-give your shirt back o-on Monday."

"Alright." I muttered. She didn't _have _to wash it… but she insisted…

I followed her to the door and waited for her to open it. I stepped out and turned to face her once more.

"Bye then." I said.

"Goodbye Sasuke." She said.

Before I could turn to leave she called out to me. "W-Wait!"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Uhh…" She looked down at her feet and back at me. "I j-just wanted to thank you."

"For?"

"Back there…" She started before fidgeting with her hands. "I realized y-you were j-just trying to help. With the wet towel and all I m-mean."

I shrugged. I didn't mean anything by it.

"A-And for not laughing…"

I rolled my eyes. "You don't look that bad."

I wanted to hit myself. That came out wrong.

Hinata turned ten shades of red before snapping out of it.

"Umm, bye then." She squeaked before closing the door in my face.

What a weird girl.

* * *

I went straight for my room once I reached home.

"Sasuke come over here." I heard Kakashi say. I sighed and turned back to walk into the living room to find him sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Don't you have a life?" I spat.

"Teacher." He said as he pointed at himself.

Point taken.

"What happened to your face?" he asked.

"My face?" I asked. I walked over to the hallway and looked in the mirror.

My nose looked purple! And I had a bruise on my cheek!

"What the hell!" I exclaimed. How did it get _that_ color!?

I stomped back to the living room. "My nose!"

"Nothing to be ashamed about." Kakshi smirked. "No one will notice."

No one will _notice_? _No one_ will notice!?

"My nose is frickin' purple!" I shouted.

"Holiday season's coming." Kakashi stated as he stood up and walked past me.

"You'll blend right in with all the Rudolphs." He teased as he patted my head before disappearing into the kitchen.

"ARGH!" I screamed. "I hate you! I hate her! You all can just go to hell!"

"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer…" a freak in the kitchen sang.

* * *

**BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! **

**Sasuke-bastard got owned! By Hinata too! **

**Even I can't believe it!**

**HAHAHAHAHAHA**

**Anyways, this is Uzumaki Naruto speaking and I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! As THE favourite of LostInspiration312 I can say that she's getting quite a kick out of writing this story! **

**(BUT BUT BUT I still don't see why I don't get to show up more… hmm… Wait a minute… I'M STILL YOU'RE FAVORITE RIGHT? IF YOU'RE READING THIS, AM I STIL YOUR FAVORITE!?) **

**Oh dear god! DOES SHE LIKE THAT BASTARD MORE THAN ME!?**

**MY SHOW'S ALREADY PRACTICALLY CALLED "SASUKE"! AND NOW THIS?**

**WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?**

**N. Uzumaki**


	5. How can Miss Agony be nice to a freak?

The universe hates me.

I don't even think I was supposed to exist, because if I was, the Universe would be kinder to me. Unfortunately it seems like it's doing all it can to exterminate me, or at least make my life miserable because I refuse to die.

I'm the reason for global warming, the economic crisis and the hole in the ozone layer. I've upset the balance of things and now the Universe reacted by giving me a purple nose.

"Geeze man, you're worse than a girl."

"Shut up Suigetsu." I snapped as I looked at him through the mirror. He went next to me to wash his hands with an annoying sneer on his face.

"You do realize that it's called Rudolph the _red_-nosed reindeer right?"

Kakashi has been going on non-stop with the stupid Rudolph jokes since last night. I don't need someone else getting on my back!

"Pointy toothed freak..." I muttered. "All that's missing is for you to _sparkle_…"

"Said something?" he asked.

"No."

Suigetsu Hozuki was someone I met while applying for the job. He came all the way from Kirigakure to study here and _fortunately_ he doesn't attend Hashirama High. I didn't need to deal with yet another idiot.

Hmm… maybe the Universe wasn't _so_ bad…

"Care to tell me how that happened?" he inquired as he jerked his chin to my reflection.

"No." I answered curtly. If I didn't tell Kakashi, do you really expect I'd tell you?

"Suit yourself." He said as he walked over to the dryers. "Just make sure you're done with…_ whatever_ you're doing, before comes in."

"Whatever." I replied. Jerk.

"Hey what are _you _doing in here!?" Suigetsu suddenly exclaimed after the door burst open.

"I'm here to help Sasuke!" a female voice shouted. Oh damn…

"Oh _Sasuuukeeeee_!"

Kill me.

_Now__. _

"Move you asshat!" Karin screamed as she hit Suigetsu in the head and pushed him out of the washroom. Now where have I seen _that _before?

"Don't worry Sasuke I can fix it!" she beamed as she made her way next to me. She was clutching a little black bag filled with girl-type things.

"What are you doing?" I asked skeptically. I was also glad Karin didn't go to my school. She always tried to have her way with me, not that I ever allowed her to. So now being alone with her in the washroom…

I need to escape!

"Just wait, I'm looking for something." She said as she shuffled through pencils, brushes and lip glosses. Why the hell do girls need all those things?

Some sort of torture contraption fell out of her bag and she hastily put it back in. What the _hell_ was _that_? Wasn't that what girls use to curl their eyelashes? I think I saw Sakura use one once. Didn't that hurt? Didn't eyelashes fall out if you handled it wrong? I mean you press it down so doesn't the pres-

_**Wh**__**y**_ do I even care!?

"Ah ha!" Karin exclaimed as she took out something that looked suspiciously like lipstick. She pulled off the cap and my assumption was right… It was weird though… it was skin-colored.

"Come here Sasuke!"

"What the hell!?" I said as I pushed her away from me. "I'm _not _wearing make-up!"

She sighed. "It's concealer!"

"Con-what?"

"CON-CEA-LER!" she pronounced as she approached me. My back hit the wall and I placed my hands in front of me.

"What's that for!?"

"It's to hide imperfections!" She said as she approached the concealer to my face.

"Stop that!" I said as I slapped her hand away.

"No one will know! It's the whole _point_ of concealer!" she exasperatedly said. "Just stay still!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"Karin I said no!"

"So you'd rather go around looking like a purple nosed freak!?"

I let go of her arms and stared at her. I caught a glimpse of my reflection on her glasses. Well, she _did_ have a point…

"Hey guys!" someone suddenly cautioned. We both looked over to see Jugo's head peaking in from the door.

Perfect timing!

"_**What**_!?" Karin hissed.

"Mr. Hachibi's here. Better go out now."

I sighed loudly and ran a hand trough my hair. Great. "Let's go Karin."

"But-"

"No buts!" I snapped. "Let's go."

"But your nose!" She insisted.

"Forget it!"

As I opened the door I bumped into a huge wall of body mass.

"What's wrong with your nose _fool_!?"

* * *

I hate group meetings.

We always had to go to work earlier for them. Plus they weren't really meetings too. We would all just sit in the staff lounge and listen to Mr. Hachibi, Mr. Bee, Killer Bee, or whatever Bee-name, _talk_. And talk. And talk. And rap.

Badly.

Killer Bee, as he prefers to be called, is a very tall man with a large build. In no way is he fat however. Under that dark skin is only muscle. He could crush me if he wanted to. And believe me, he _wants_ to.

"Karin!" he suddenly exclaimed.

"Yes sir?"

"What happened with them new releases?"

"Well sir-"

Sometimes I wonder why he chose to live here in Konoha. It's nothing special, and with his family owning the chain of Killer Movies stores all over the Fire Country he could've easily settled in a nicer city, or just stayed in Kumogakure. God knows I wouldn't mind.

"You see that store over there?" he said as he walked to the window and pointed at a book store across the street. "They've decorated since November 1st! The 1st! _I need you to hurry up now, 'cause I can't wait much longer!_"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. Good job trying to incorporate Kanye West into your little speech there Killer Bee.

I've worked in this store since I was sixteen, which was around two years ago. And every time the holiday season would come up he always gave us shit for not decorating for Christmas the moment Halloween ended.

"But Mr. Hachibi," Jugo piped in. "We've been through this count-"

"Exactly we've been through this too many times! Y'all know what I expect of my crew!"

Stop trippin' man!

I accidentally snorted at what I said in my mind.

"What's so funny?" Killer Bee barked.

"Nothing." I replied quickly. Stop messing with mah flow!I'ma busta cap in yo ass!

I bit my lip and looked at my knees. I. Will. Not. Laugh. Damn it, I look so dumb right now with my shoulders shaking.

"Constipated much Sasuke?" Suigetsu suddenly teased.

I glared at him. Yo mama.

"Suitgetsu!" Killer Bee's voice boomed.

"Don't interrupt me!"

I smirked as Suigetsu cowered on his chair.

"As, I was saying," he continued as he walked in a circle in front of us.

"I think we should pimp up the store as soon as possible. And to hype it up a bit we should dress up."

"Dress up as what?" Suigetsu inquired.

"Elves!" Killer Bee beamed. "And Imma be Santa!"

"Elves!?" the other three exclaimed.

"You're going to be _**what**_?" I asked incredulously. Did he really say what I think he did? First of all, there's no way I'm going to dress up as an elf, and second, Killer Bee as Santa? You've got to be kidding me.

"Imma be Santa!" he repeated. "And let them kids take pictures with my greatness!"

"But Sir I don't want to be an elf!" Suitgetsu piped in.

"Shut up boy." Hachibi retorted. "This is my store and you'll do as I say got it?"

"But you can't be Santa!" I thought aloud. Suddenly four sets of eyes stared at me. Ah crap.

"Why can't I be Santa?" Killer Bee asked in a threatening tone. Behind him, Karin and Jugo were shaking their heads and hands in "No!" signs.

"Santa's not black." I shrugged. Karin gasped. What? It's true right? I'm not a racist or anything, but you have to admit that's pretty weird. Have any of you seen the movie Elf?

Exactly.

And don't bother asking why I watched the movie.

"Wait lemme get this straight." Bee said as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You think… Santa can't be black?"

"Yes." I answered. Jugo hit his forehead while Karin and Suigetsu watched uncomfortably.

"Listen here pretty boy." He said as he moved closer to me. "If the _President _of the United States can be _black_, why can't Santa, _fool_!?" Killer Bee exclaimed.

Karin snorted and covered her mouth with her hands. Suigetsu let out a low whistle and mouthed a: "Burn!"

"Look guy don't trip." I sighed.

"Hey now I ain't trippin!" he said as he approached me even more. "How about I just stick yo ass to the cash? What about that huh!?" Killer Bee roared.

I glared at the trio standing behind him. Here I thought my "peeps" had my back. I hated working at the register. As if it wasn't obvious enough that I wasn't the sociable type.

"You look at me when I talk to you!"

"Fine!" I spat as I looked at him. "I'm looking, happy!?"

"You want beef pal? I'll give you beef!"

"Sure, make it medium rare." I muttered.

Karin and Suitgestu suddenly broke into a fit of giggles while Jugo tried to shut them up.

"All of you get out!" He yelled at them. They instantly stopped and rushed out the lounge room. Once the door closed Killer Bee snapped his attention back at me.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't fire your ass!"

I rolled my eyes. Doesn't he realize that it's _because _of my _ass _that people even _come _here? Do you seriously think I'm oblivious to the girls checking me out?

"I don't have any." I said.

"Well I don't give a- Wait what!? You don't have any?"

I lazily shook my head.

"Oh. I wasn't expecting that."

Idiot.

"Well then too bad! You're still working here! You're new position will be on the cash!"

I let out an aggravated sigh. "Why do I have to work at the register?"

"Because I said so! I'm frickin' Killer Bee godamnit!"

* * *

The store was open and I was positioned in the cash register.

I'm loving this.

I'm a masochist you see, so three hours of torture doesn't bother me. And when my last two hours will end I'd still want more.

After Killer Bee practically threw me out of the room and told me to do something about my nose, Karin dragged me to the washroom, pinned me in place with the help of Jugo and applied that imperfection-eraser on me.

I'm a masochistic, make up wearing 18-year old.

In other words: I'm a sick, sick man.

A giggling idiot suddenly placed three films in front of me and smiled.

I could see Killer Bee from over her shoulder, giving me the evil eye. He was doing that since this morning, making sure I wouldn't scare away any of his customers. If only he'd realize that's _exactly _what will happen with me on the cash.

I returned my attention back at the girl standing in front of me and noticed her caked on makeup.

Drag Queen much, sweetheart?

"So your name's Sasuke?" she asked seductively as I took the DVD's and scanned them.

"Obviously." I replied. Did my nametag give you that idea? She giggled.

I want to slap her.

"My name's Momo."

I grimaced. I want to slap her real bad.

I took the bill and placed it in one of the DVD's as she paid me. "They're for the 30th.

Happy holidays." I drawled.

It's funny how she "accidentally" touched my hand and left it there for a little too long.

"Oops! Sorry about that!" she shyly said.

"Yeah whatever, next!"

I looked over the next person and saw Killer Bee chuckling to himself. Asshole.

I looked back at the person standing in front of me and almost jumped in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded. It was Miss Agony! I mean Hinata! I hope I didn't seem too shocked…

"Umm… Hi." Hinata stumbled as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I c-called your place a-and Mr. Hatake said you'd be he-"

"You didn't answer my question." I interrupted. I didn't want her here! I didn't want her to accidentally spill the beans to me coworkers on how my face turned out like this! They'd never let it drop!

"I came to g-give your shirt back." She squeaked. Why did she always look afraid when she'd talk to me? She frickin' punched me last night!

I looked over her shoulder and saw Suigetsu making kissy-faces. I glared at him, and Karin bonked him on the head once again. To make matters worse there wasn't anybody behind Hinata in line. There were all busy looking at the rows of movies. So much for telling her I had to work…

I looked back at Hinata whose cheeks turned pink as she slipped my uniform to me. "I thought y-you might need it for school."

"I have other shirts." I replied as I took the shirt back and placed it in a drawer.

Jugo tutted as he passed in front of us with a stack of movies. I ignored him. What? It's true! I _do_ have other shirts! I followed him with my eyes as he shook his head in disappointment. What does he want me to do? Fawn all over her!?

"I-I know…" Hinata mumbled. "It was already clean so I thought-"

"Is that all you came for?"I interrupted again. She talks too slow. I looked around and noticed a couple of people staring at us. Just what I needed!

Hinata looked at me like a deer in headlights. She opened her mouth and closed it, and opened it again, making her look like a fish.

Besides looking like a guppy there was something different about her. When I saw her yesterday the little spots on her face were still visible, and today… Ah! Concealer!

"Well, I-I wanted to see if you were al-aright. I g-got worried about y-you."

"You don't have to worry about me." I said through gritted teeth as Killer Bee gave me thumbs up. Argh this was so embarrassing!

She smiled a little as she fidgeted with her fingers. "Your nose looks better… I thought it would b-bruise after what I-"

DON'T SAY IT!

"If you're not going to rent or buy anything _just leave_!" I yelled. The store suddenly grew quiet as everyone looked over to where we were.

Oh shit…

Hinata's mouth shut itself and her surprised look turned into one of hurt.

I didn't mean to say it that loud!

"I..." Hinata started as she lowered her gaze. "I'm sorry I bothered y-you."

She turned away and quickly walked towards the door. I looked around and saw Jugo look away, Suitgetsu watch in disbelief, and Karin walking away from the scene with a satisfied smile on her face. The customers seemed to have a mix of shock and curiosity on their faces.

Killer Bee shot daggers at me with his eyes as he ran after Hinata, telling her about the promotions we were having, only to be politely refused by her.

When the door closed behind her a strange feeling arose in me.

"What the hell was that Sasuke!?" Killer Bee exploded. "You don't treat shorties like that!"

I turned away from him and occupied myself by placing the returned movies into piles. I didn't want to hear it.

I felt… odd.

"Excuse me!" a voice said from behind me. I turned and saw three girls in dangerously low tops smiling and waving at me. I know they had jackets on, but didn't they feel cold?

"Hi!"

I grumbled.

"Gosh that girl looked so annoying!" one of them said as she placed a movie in front of me."

I guess she was…

"I bet she stalks you, I mean she even had your shirt! Like what the hell?" the other one said.

I didn't reply as I took her movies as well. The only reason she had my shirt was because she offered to wash it herself…

"It's pathetic that she came all the way here. Doesn't she know a guy like _you_ will only shut her down?"

The three of them laughed loudly at the girl's remark.

I felt sick… "Karin!" I called. "Take over for me. I need a break."

"What? You're leaving?" the girls whined. I hurriedly left without looking back at them.

"Happy Holidays!" they cheered after me.

"_You too __Ho, Ho and Ho." _As Santa would say.

* * *

I opened the door to our apartment and was met by silence.

"Kakashi?" I said as I took off my shoes and went into the living room. "You home?"

I switched on the lights and noticed a piece of paper on the coffee table. I walked over to it and picked it up. **"Gone out. Don't wait up Honey."**

Stating the obvious much? I crumpled the note in my hand as I scanned the living room for Pakkun. I saw him taking a nap on Kakashi's recliner. Lazy dog.

I turned away and walked to my room. Once in it I threw the note in my trash can and sat on my swivel chair, dropping my bag next to me. I didn't bother turning the light on, or removing my jacket as I just sat there, the silence of the apartment drowning me.

The rest of the day at work seemed to drag on more than usual.

I felt like I was carrying this heavy pit in my stomach and chest, and I didn't even have the drive to snap back at a bitching customer, or my annoying colleagues. Oddly enough they went off my back as well.

I don't know what my problem is. All I'm sure of is this started the moment Hinata left.

This is all her fault.

She just had to have the "Oh no! Bambi's mother got shot and died!" look on her face!

She brought it upon herself, if she had just waited until Monday none of this would've happened.

Not that I feel bad of course! I have no reason to! I just had a slip up, it's nothing. I don't see why she had to be all offended by it.

"This is ridiculous." I mumbled as I took off my jacket and flung it on my bed. I grabbed my bag and unzipped it, hoping to find the leftover sandwich I brought from work.

I dipped my hand in and felt something soft. I grabbed it, only to see a familiar leaf symbol.

It was my shirt.

As I pulled it out a yellow piece of paper fell to the ground. I picked it up and saw there was a message neatly written on it.

"**I hope you feel better Sasuke.**** Thank you for being so nice to me.**

**Hinata"**

* * *

**Happy New Year everyone!**

**I realize I haven't updated any of my stories in a long time, but I can safely say that my self-imposed hiatus is officially over! I've been dealing with a couple of things with my personal life, and now that I had enough time to myself and think things through, I was finally able to solve most of them. =) Things have been looking up for me for the past few weeks, and I guess that's why my desire to write has come back.**

**Although… ****It's been a while since I last wrote something that had to do with Naruto, I'll be honest and say that the last time I wrote anything for this story was when I posted the fourth chapter of MAATAU. So I'm sorry if this isn't my best chapter. (I wrote it in one sitting yesterday lol…) I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm back.**

**My slump has ended.**

**P.S: An update for I Was Wrong will be coming very soon! I haven't given up on that story!**

**P.P.S: I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and I wish all of you the very best for the year to come!**

**LostInspiration312**


	6. Impressive apology NOT

It's Monday.

I hate Mondays.

Then again, who doesn't?

On Mondays I had Chemistry of _all_ subjects for my first period. It's not like I found chemistry difficult, quite the contrary, Chemistry was a piece of cake. Which I now realize is the perfect analogy, since that particular phrase denotes something that can be done effortlessly, while in the same time mentioning cake, something I hate. Ergo, Chemistry was easy, but I hated it. I was doomed to sit and actually _listen_ to Kakashi talk about ions and neutrons and whatnot. The only upside was at _least_ he wasn't rambling on about how he misses the plot of the Icha Icha series getting better and hotter while he walked around in his pimp robe…

Don't.

Ask.

_Ever._

I sighed as my train of thought went towards the idiotic and bitterly searched within my locker for my Chemistry textbook…

And couldn't find it.

How awesome. I just earned myself a detention.

No matter how aloof Kakashi is outside of school, he's so stingy about things like forgetting books. I don't know what the big deal is. I could just follow along with Naruto! But that wouldn't matter now would it?

"Oh my god! Mei, look at this!" an overexcited girl squealed. I glanced at their direction and noticed they were standing near the bins that held the newest edition of The Flash.

"Sasuke joined the paper!?" Mei exclaimed as she ripped the newspaper from the hands of her friend. I glared as I slammed my locker shut and threw my bag over my shoulder.

I wanted to shoot myself.

I can't believe those idiots actually printed the stupid "Welcome to the paper Sasuke!" message.

It wasn't even necessary! My cover up for being the "new" Agony Aunt is arranging the Opinions and Lost Items pages. Nothing extraordinary! To top it off, I wasn't even _joining _in the club permanently!

As I walked down the hallway, I could see everyone who held the paper following me with their eyes wide and mouths hanging open. I inwardly smirked at their surprise. If only they knew what _else _was new with the paper.

It's a good thing I don't give a crap what the students of Hashirama High think of me, because it won't be hard for me if they don't like my advice. Why spurt out sugary sweet lies when I can just slap them in the face with the bitter truth, right? At least their hopes won't be so high up, only to be crushed in the end. Besides, Hinata's advice will be there as well. Her fluff will even things out.

Speaking of Hinata…

I've haven't heard from her since Saturday.

Not that I wanted to. I was just surprised she didn't blab to Kiba and Shino about what happened at the video store. Or worse: Ino and Sakura.

"Isn't the Uchiha guy a loner?"

I ignored the comment and hurried my pace before I could hear anything else. I already had _one _detention in store; I didn't want another one due to rearranging someone's face, albeit they might desperately need it.

"Welcome back!" someone in the hall suddenly greeted.

"Thank you!" a familiar voice replied.

Oh shit.

I looked straight ahead and stopped in my tracks.

Hinata.

There she was, busy organizing her locker and politely greeting the other students.

**Shit!** I didn't want to see _her_, or _be_ seen by her!

"How you doin'?" a nameless guy asked as he walked past her, a proud smile on his face.

Lay off the Friends reruns dude.

"I'm fine thank you." Hinata chirped. Ugh! Didn't she realize she was getting hit on? I thought she's supposed to be _smart_?

I rolled my eyes and continued walking. I don't know why I had a mild panic attack over there. I wasn't expecting her to be back so soon I guess.

Thankfully since she was so "busy", I easily slipped past her without her noticing me.

But like some pathetic plot device a kid abruptly ran past us, knocking the books Hinata was holding to the floor.

"Sorry!" The boy yelled as he continued his race.

Oh hell.

She can take care of her self.

I indifferently turned away from her and was about to walk away when curiosity got the better of me. I glanced back, only to see her on her knees and picking up the books.

Wasn't she going to say anything!?_ Do_ anything!? Yell at him to watch where he was going? Tell him to use his eyes? Threaten that she'll make him regret crossing her path? That she's now sworn to avenge her fallen books?

Why didn't she _punch __**him**_!?

Argh! She's so annoying! She can pick up her books by herself for all I care! It's not like she's a little kid that needs attention every single minute of every single fucking day!

A second crash of books to the floor was heard and some girls giggled as they "discreetly" pointed at Hinata and whispered to themselves.

I groaned as I stopped walking and turned back to her once again. Stupid conscience. I thought I didn't have one anymore.

Some people were staring at me, and some guys who were about to help her looked at me in annoyance before I gave them a glare that caused them to retreat. Chh, wussies. Did those guys seriously think they stood a chance? Don't they know how oblivious Hinata is?

I stopped in front of the dumb girl and picked up the book that fell nearest to me. "Here." I grumbled.

Hinata looked up from where she was kneeling and stared at me, that ever "deer-caught-in-headlights" look on her face.

"Oh, thank you S-Sasuke." She stuttered as she rose up with the many books in her arms. I placed the book I held on top of her stack, causing her to wobble dangerously.

I took back three books from her pile in exasperation. So she can_ punch_ me in the face but_ can't_ carry a pile of books?

"You don't have to!" Hinata gasped as she reached for the books I held. "I c-can do it!"

"I know!" I snapped as I quickly shoved the books I held in her locker, ignoring her complaint of them not being in their "proper place" and rushed off.

"Thank you!" She called after me.

So irritating!

My throat was oddly dry so I stopped by a fountain to drink disgusting metal water. "Did you see that?" Someone whispered next to me. I looked over and saw two second year boys staring at me.

"Is she your girlfriend?" one of them asked with blood trickling down his nose.

I shoved him in his locker.

"UCHIHA!" someone screeched. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? MY OFFICE THIS INSTANT!"

* * *

I charged into the Chemistry lab without looking at anyone.

"Ah! Mr. Uchiha finally decided to join us!" Kakashi teased as he approached me and blocked my way.

"See me after class." He whispered.

"Shut up." I seethed.

He snorted and turned away from me. "So as I was saying before being interrupted-"

I continued to the table where Naruto was seated and dropped my bag on it.

"Hey, you went to see Granny?" Naruto asked in a hushed tone.

I glared at him. Oh I saw Tsunade alright.

When I turned to see who had screamed at me I noticed Tsunade stomping towards me, her chest bouncing with every step. She yelled at how inappropriate I was acting (no pun intended) and pulled the "little boy" out of his locker before he sprinted away with his friend in terror.

After yelling at me at how wrong I was for "attacking" a younger student she then dragged me by my bag to her office. What was even more embarrassing was how everyone stared in shock.

"What did you do?" Naruto chuckled.

"Nothing." I replied.

"He pushed a boy into a locker." Someone stated. Naruto and I looked back at a smirking Sakura. Hinata sat next to her and had an obvious blush on her cheeks while avoiding both our stares. She tucked a stray hair behind her ear and I noticed a bandage on her hand. So_ that's_ why she couldn't carry her books properly! I glared at her before turning my attention back to Kakashi.

"You what!?" Naruto asked as he burst into fits of laughter that he failed to cover up.

"Excuse me!" Kakashi's voice resounded. "If anyone isn't interested I suggest they get out of my class room."

Naruto instantly shut up and turned to face the board. Unfortunately not even five seconds passed before he giggled again.

"Stop that." I hissed. He bit his lip and his eyes watered.

"Stupid." I sighed.

A snort escaped his lips, making the whole room chuckle. But something followed that snort that sent the whole room into a laughing frenzy.

A loud fart.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Naruto!"

"I'M SORRY! SORRY!"

"Oh perfect example! Can anyone name the major components of the flatus Naruto just released?" Kakashi beamed.

Fuck my life.

* * *

Kakashi's "conversation" with me was pointless.

He already knew what happened, and only used the time to laugh at me. Stupid man wasted five minutes of my recess.

"I'm sorry I told him Sasuke!" Sakura apologized as she wrapped an arm around mine heading in the direction of the cafeteria. "He was just worried about why you were late! So since I knew I-"

"I get it." I said as I tried to pull away. Yet again her death grip was stronger.

"But what made you do it, huh? Pushing around kids like that. Bastard." Naruto said as he slowly shook his head.

"I felt like it." I shrugged.

Naruto laughed and Sakura let go of me to hit his head. No wonder he's such an idiot.

"Hey Pinky!" someone yelled.

We all turned around to see Kiba waving at us from a table along with Sai, Hinata and Ino.

"Shut up bitch!" Sakura laughed as she pulled me towards them. Oh hell no… I did _not_ want to sit with them.

"Hey, I'm not a female dog!" Kiba replied followed by a howl, startling some of the students walking past his table.

Sakura pushed me down on a seat as she laughed and seated herself to my left.

"Some dog _you _are!" Naruto smirked as he took some pretzels from Sai's mix bag and sat to my right.

"Your hand's feeling better?" he then asked Hinata. She nodded.

"You should be careful!" Sakura said as she reached over to observe Hinata's hand.

"I know!" Hinata giggled. "It's just it's been a while since I've t-trained, with the chicken pox and all."

Hmm, so that's how she bruised it.

"I heard_ someone_ let out a big one in Chemistry." Sai said with surprising emotion. Mockery I think.

"You're the one who farted in class!?" Ino gasped before laughing with Kiba. Hinata tried not to laugh by shoving a cookie into her mouth.

"How did you know!?" Naruto and Sakura screeched. My poor ears…

"Dude, when something like that happens how can everyone _not_ know!?" Kiba snorted.

"Oh guys! There's Shikamaru and Shino!" Hinata said as she pointed behind me and waved.

"Hey Shika! Yoo hoo!" Ino screeched as she stood from her seat and made big waving motions. I wish they wouldn't scream so much.

"Hey." ShikamarU sighed as he reached our table and dropped his bag to the floor.

"Guess what I overheard!" someone suddenly beamed. Oh great, ANOTHER person!

"YES! ALRIGHT! **I'M** THE ONE WHO FARTED IN CLASS! HAPPY!?" Naruto yelled as he stood from his seat.

The whole cafeteria turned silent and stared at our direction.

Chouji was standing in front of us in shock, holding up two muffins. "That was you?"

"That wasn't what you were going to say, was it…?" Naruto slowly said. "Aw man!" He whined as he slumped back down. Thankfully the cafeteria went back to their usual mumblings.

"Anyways, I was standing in line for muffins and I overheard some people reading Agony Aunt!" Choji continued as he closed in on the table, his voice hushing for us to hear.

"And?" Shikamaru asked.

"They love it!"

"Really!?" Sakura gasped. He vigorously nodded his head.

"It was 50-50. Kind of like our first reactions. Some of them liked it, some of them didn't. They kept going on and on about how Agony Aunt was going through PMS or something."

"What?" Hinata blurted out. "I-I'm not!"

"We know Hina." Ino giggled as she glanced at me.

"I guess with the two of you," Shikamaru said as he nodded to both us, "giving out your own advice, it might seem like Agony Aunt suddenly has a split personality."

"I don't know if I'd call what Sasuke's giving out _'advice'_…" Kiba mumbled. I glared at him.

"True." Shino agreed. What do you know freak?

"So what's going to happen now?" Naruto inquired.

"I don't know yet, let's meet up after school." Shikamaru suggested.

"Can you?" Sakura asked me as she nudged my arm.

I nodded.

"Don't you have detention?" Naruto asked.

"No." I fumed.

Tsunade thought about giving me detention, but thought it would interfere with my "club activities". When I clarified that I was only in the newspaper until Hinata came back, which was now the case, she had none of it. She ordered that instead of detention, I'd have to remain in the paper for the rest of the year…

"Why not?" Kiba asked.

"He's joining the paper. Tusnade told me." Shikamaru stated. "Am I right Sasuke?"

I shrugged. I'd rather do detention than constantly spend my after-school hours with _these _people.

"But wasn't Sasuke only supposed to be a replacement for Hinata!?" Kiba whined.

"Well I guess not anymore!" Naruto beamed as he slapped my back.

"Ah! This is great!" Sakura excitedly said. "Oh Sasuke, I'm telling you, you're going to have so mu-

"You'll do articles with me right!?" Ino piped in.

"Now I'll have to rearrange everything…" Shikamaru complained.

"We're all in this together!" Choji laughed.

"Quote High School Musical again and I'll have to hurt you." Shino warned.

"I'll help." Sai said.

Unsurprisingly, the only one who didn't join in the hoopla was Hinata. I glanced at her and caught her softly smiling. She caught me looking at her and simply widened her smile and mouthed a "welcome".

I looked away, and fumed at how irritatingly sweet she was.

* * *

I breathed in the fresh air as I pushed the school's doors open.

This frickin day has finally ended, and not soon enough if you ask me.

Thankfully, Naruto and Sakura left me alone to go eat someplace. Naruto claimed it was a date, but as usual Sakura denied it. I wonder when she'll stop deluding herself and just accept the fact she-

"Sasuke!" a familiar voice called, followed by a loud honk. I looked in front of me and saw Kakashi's car. Five hands waved at me from in it.

Oh Christ.

I rolled my eyes, approached the black car and peered in. There was Kakashi at the steering wheel, Kurenai at his right, and Yamato, Anko and Guy in the backseat.

I would've jumped for joy at the knowledge of there not being any room for me, but I think you all know I'd never do such a thing.

"Hello." I tried to say politely.

"Hello!" They greeted in return.

"As you can see I'm going out tonight," Kakashi beamed as he looked at the people with him, "so if you get hungry the leftover mushu is in the fridge okay _Sasu_?" Kakashi said.

I shrugged as I tried to hide my embarrassment. Why did he always do this in front of everyone!? I know they've all been to our apartment one time or another, but still, having him "father" me in front of the other teachers just makes me want to dig a hole and jump in.

And stay in it and rot actually.

"Anyways, we have to go now; I'll be back home at around 8. Bye!" he said as he started the engine and drove off.

I watched as the car drive further away and could've sworn someone from it yell: "HAPPY HOOOUUUUR! RAH RAH RAH!"

I shivered before continuing my walk. Damn I hate them.

Another thing I hate is no matter how much I'd like to deny it, there's no going around the fact that I'm now part of the school newspaper.

It never really hit me until I found myself sitting in the newsroom, in front of a computer screen next to Hinata, and staring at the blinking cursor on a blank page.

Our job? Revamp the advice page.

It was decided that since I was "such a hit" with the students I was going to stay where I started. But since we were now two people working on it, with extremely different points of view, Shikamaru said we had to try and incorporate both our thoughts into it.

However, there's one problem.

I'm _not_ into it. At _all_. So excuse me if I found the task rather difficult.

It also didn't help how Hinata could _not_ talk whatsoever.

She'd constantly stutter and stumble whenever she had to say something to _me_. Because of it we didn't get anything done! Sure, I could've contributed, but I didn't feel like doing shit. It also irritated me how she was perfectly alright talking to the others, hell; she was even more understandable while she talked with Naruto! Now that I mention it, didn't they already go out on a couple of dates two years ago? I sighed loudly. Maybe I _should_ listen whenever Naruto talked to me.

I looked to my sides as a feeling of being watched swept over me. You'd think that after years of being followed by admirers and people who hated me I'd finally get used to it. I shoved my hands into my pockets in search of my iPod and pulled it out from my left pocket. Maybe some music would help me relax for a while.

Before I could put on my earphones a loud sneeze came from behind me. I glanced back and was surprised to see Hinata.

Oh. _Her_.

She meekly excused herself and looked to the ground.

I swiftly turned away from her and continued my walk, before I heard a second sneeze.

"Bless you!" I barked in annoyance.

"Thank you." She replied as she wiped her nose with a tissue. ARGH! I didn't even say it nicely!

"What, so now you have a cold!?" I snapped.

"A-Allergies." She replied as she neatly folded her tissue. I continued glaring at her.

"There's medication for that you know." I said. She nodded.

"I kn-know. But they just started t-today."

I tutted. Whatever.

We awkwardly stood there as other people merely glanced at us in curiosity as they walked past.

"What are you doing?" I asked abruptly.

"I'm n-not following you if that's what y-you think." Hinata said with slight defiance. "I live a couple of blocks further from you."

I glared as stupidity slapped me in the face and turned away from her. I took five steps forward, until this annoying feeling within me made me stop, and take two back.

"So?" I snapped as I looked at her.

She jumped back and stared at me with a confused look on her face.

"Are you coming or what?" I hissed. I can't believe this.

"Oh!" she stupidly exclaimed as she treaded towards me. I started walking at a pace she could catch up with and continued on when she did.

Don't ask me why I did what I did, because I myself don't know exactly why. I guess it's simply because it'd be awkward to know someone I knew was walking in the same direction I was and staring at my back.

Or maybe because I pitied her so much.

I don't know.

Her hand accidentally brushed mine as we walked side by side, and she instantly jumped away from me in embarrassment.

I rolled my eyes and stuffed my hands back into my pockets and arched a brow at her. Hinata's face reddened. I looked down at her hand and noticed her bandage from this morning.

"Umm Sasuke…" Hinata started. I glanced at her.

"A-Are you mad at me?"

I glanced at her again, and looked back at the sidewalk ahead of us. There wasn't much for me to be angry at her about. Sure she punched me, she was afraid of me and she couldn't articulate her words properly, but I'm not dumb enough to think it was all her fault.

Well… her speech problem _is_ her fault, but I did cause the other two things.

"Should I be?" I asked, curious to what she thought I was thinking.

"Well, umm, yes… no…"

"Whatever the right answer is, right?" I mocked. She then did what I think was a glare.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair in exasperation. "I'm not mad."

"Really?" she asked as she looked up at me. I nodded.

"Okay." She smiled.

This is the part where I apologize isn't it?

"Forget what I said Saturday." I mumbled.

"Huh?"

"Last Saturday," I said a little clearer. "Just forget about it."

I looked down at her and saw her staring at me with a goofy smile on her face.

"What?" I asked sharply.

"Nothing." She replied as she looked away, covering a small giggle with her hand.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing." She answered as she shook her head.

"Fine." I shrugged.

The rest of the walk home was uneventful, with none of us really engaging in any kind of conversation. We spoke briefly on what we could do for Agony Aunt and figured we had a whole week to think about it.

It surprised me how she didn't seem to annoy me as much anymore. It seemed like that weird feeling I'd have whenever she was around disappeared after my "apology." If you can call "Forget about Saturday." an apology…

Before we knew it, we were in front of my apartment's building. I took out my key and approached the door. "So, uh, this is my place." I said.

Ugh. I love how I state the obvious.

"I'll give back the shirt you lent me tomorrow." I continued. It actually gives me a reason to do my laundry now.

"Oh ok." Hinata replied with a small smile.

"Bye." I shrugged.

"Goodbye Sa-Sasuke."

Ok, that's it!

"Sasuke." I said forcefully.

"I-I beg your pardon?"

"My name. It's Sasuke." I repeated as I opened the door. "Not '_Sa-Sa-Sasuke' _or '_Umm Sasuke'_."

"I'm sorry!" she squeaked as she looked at her feet in embarrassment, her cheeks turning their usual shade of red. She looked at me.

"Say it." I smirked.

"G-Goodbye…" she said before stopping herself. "Umm Sasuke."

Without another word or glance, she quickly turned around and ran straight into a lamppost.

"I'm fine!" she squeaked before running away as fast as her feet could take her.

All of that because of my name?

My smirked widened and I forced back a laugh.

Say my name baby, say my name.

* * *

**Well this one came out pretty quickly! **

**Well, "quick" as in LostInspiration312's definition of "quick".**

**This is what happens when an author decides to write under the influence. Her birthday was a couple of days ago (happy birthday once again! The food was AMAZING! And damn it was fun! I should've been your friend a LONG LONG time ago!) and I guess this is what she came up with. I don't see why she hates this chapter so much since Sasuke and Hinata are finally in speaking terms… And I actually got to say more than one line. (hehe…) **

**Wait, **_**are**_** they in speaking terms? Both of them aren't the greatest talkers in the world and-**

**I think I should stop before Sasuke reads this. I might die before I get to finish my baby back ribs. Anyways, she would like to thank everyone for reading!**

**(Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to help LostInspiration312 empty out her leftover-filled fridge.)**

**C. Akimichi**

* * *

**I will not strip for you.**

**Uchiha S.**

* * *

**Hello Miss, I realize you are of legal age now and that if anything were to happen between us I would not go to jail, but I'm not sure we can do what you suggested without me feeling guilty and disgusting afterwards. However, I'm flattered.**

**Happy belated Birthday!**

**Hatake K.**

* * *

**Just name the time and place babe.**

**Inuzuka K.**

* * *

**Hey what's this orange sparkly thing you sent me? Is it an eye patch? I tried putting it on but the two strappy things got in the way. Anyways, I'm meeting up with Kiba! See ya!**

**Uzumaki N.**


End file.
